I have to say on this Christmas Eve I'm thankful for things i would never have been thankful for if it wasn't for my Kids...
I'm thankful for my family of course, our jobs, our happiness.. the simple fact that Im saved by the grace of God!!
As some of you know, We have been going through some tough times with our son Ryan, trying to figure out what is going on with him... its been a long few years of hearing "maybe he is autistic, maybe he has ADD or ADHD, or he is lazy or "UN-motivated" no one could figure out or give us a diagnosis.. but we knew the everyday meltdowns, the begging through tears for the last 3 years "don't make me go to school" .. that this was not normal behavior.. this has tested me as a mother with trying to be strong for him.And forget trying to explain this to anyone else,,, nobody understands!! But with nobody knowing what was wrong with him its been rough, he was tested and he is a smart kid... he kept passing all the tests!!!
Finally with the help from his teacher and some O.T.'s we are closer to a diagnosis,, you see, Ryan has major sensory issues.. he doesn't have fine motor skills that come naturally for us, he doesn't know how to use his core strength (back and abs) so he cant balance or skip and its hard for him to catch a ball or kick a soccer ball.. Luke and I always thought it was us that
maybe we were doing something wrong,,, why cant he bounce a basketball?? why couldn't he ride his bike until he was 8?? we were blaming ourselves for this for the last 3 years...
So now our journey begins with Ryans doctors teaching him how to use his "core" for balancing, skipping, ... ect... we have to fight for him to get on and IEP program at school (individuals with disabilities education act) where he will then get special support for his visual/sensory impairment issues...
Why am i thankful for this you might ask?? well when we were at the specialist on this Christmas eve, the doctor asked him..
Ryan what do you hope to take out of this next few years of therapy? and Ryan smiled as he was fighting back his tears and smiled his
great big Ryan smile and said
"I just want to be able to play wall-ball at school" to us that sounds like such a small thing,,, but for him... its unreachable,, to be able to play something as simple as wall ball he has to have hand eye coordination... so i was sitting there, with a tear rolling down my face and said to God: "Thank you so much Lord for finding us help, for finding Ryan help"
God is so good, and faithful, i know for a fact that Ryan is going to be okay.. I'm thankful that We know why he is having meltdowns, and why he cant do what other kids can do..and it had nothing to do with what we were or weren't doing wrong.
So this post is about really putting our faith in God in all things.. not just the big huge problems that we all have , but even the small piddly things. I sometimes feel like I can take care of things on my own, i turn into this mother-warrior for my children,, but I have to remember that all-things happen for a reason and God wants my burdens, i just have to take them to him.. I was taking my sons heavy-heart and making my heart even heavier!!
so i have to remember : Matthew 11:30 "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light"
What a wonderful Lord we serve
Merry Christmas Eve !!!
Mindy~